protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Legal issues related to buying land, houses, condos in the LOS. Anything about contracts. Finance related, such as getting a mortgage, buying property from the bank, etc.

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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby thaifly » Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:20 am

geordie wrote: great how they want the fees up front

its a gidday to all...its the thai fly from mae rim..if the fly encountered the above would be a RUSSIAN BALLETT a member previously and correctly pointed out a research is needed to find a suitable one... they are out there..hey geordie my cobber..who is next on your hit list..y/day it was its the lawyers..last week it was the thais..hell i would stay in the OLD BLIGHTY..frozen and all :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: its another away loss C/SEA GIDDAY TO ALL ...its the thai fly from mae rim
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby fredlk » Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:59 am

thaifly wrote:.... a research is needed to find a suitable one... they are out there..

Hello and good morning Thaifly,
I just want to say that I agree with you 100%. Good and bad people are everywhere and in all professions, but with common sense, knowledge of human nature and a positive attitude you can succeed in whatever it is you start out to do.
Have a good day. :)
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby geordie » Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:19 am

well once again typed too slowly and it ate it i must somewhere in this machine have an encyclopedia
all i can say really is yes there are good people out there and honest and profesional and competent unfortunately there are also bad sorry if i sound cynycal but unfortunately i have experienced both really i cannot recall saying ALL people are bad and in reality i do trust people probably more than i should but you can get burned even in the land of smiles
Architects are human and so falible
Not a critisism a caution kingston sports a 2 million glass bridge with an 18" extension the architect drew it wrong
Or how about an overflow from a toilet running up a wall across a ceiling and no mention of a pump the architect missed the fact water will not run up hill
ok a few quick mods with a pen can usually resolve it if the builder cannot
Lawyers unfortunately in this country demmand an up front payment staged in there favour you want to use them you pay all work on the same principal so you are left with a take it or leave it situation
Arguably lawyers get a bum rap if its gone in your favour and you win the day he is brilliant
if you lose he is a pillock and should be disbarred
the problem is usually in any dispute the lawyer is the winner he has your money win or lose
Mistrust of thai builders sorry been conditioned by my wifes familly any mistrust is down to them
I can guarantee this anyone i do trust has earned it over a number of years by trust i mean i can go off on holiday coming back to no problems unfortunately its hard to find people like that
my comments may be wrong but never deliberately
If it aint broke, dont fix it
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby thaifly » Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:39 am

its a gidday to geordie..its the thai fly from mae rim..the fly knows where u are coming from :D :D :D ...going into c/mai centre for lunch and a bottle of red.. with couple mates ..will pop into a internet shop and put some pics up on my building story i hope :) as i am like you geordie ..dumb as they come :lol: on computers. :D .but stilll keep trying. :D .its a slip up m/u too..GIDDAY TO ALL ITS THE THAIFLY FROM MAE RIM
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby developer3d » Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:07 am

Hey sixtyminuteman,

This is my favorite "Thai" subject so I ask for your forgiveness for the long post. :D

In my opinion the subject of lost "investment" in Thai relationships is 100% the fault of Farang Men.

I propose that if foreign men approached this subject in the following manner there would be far fewer problems, fears and concerns in this area.

1, I am going to assume that this discussion is based around the genuine "failed" relationship rather than a "con" from day one to get your money, both do happen but lets assume the first for this discussion as I am sure that your girlfriend like most Thai girls is actually well intentioned.

So you meet the thai girl of your dreams and you decide to create a life for yourselves here in Thailand. After some time living here, being happy and getting to know the girl as you would do anywhere in the world you decide to build a house together either as a permanent place to live as a family or a holiday retreat.

Due to the laws that prevent foreign ownership of land you need to place the land title in your girlfriends name.

Now lets say that a few years later say 3 - 6 years things are not going the way that you hope and the relationship ends, and yes lets say it ends badly where your ex expresses a claim for the land and house.

OK so here is the rub. Lets say you walk away from land, lets say that you just let her have it uncontested.

What have you lost ? 1,000,000 Baht ? 30,000 USD ?

What you need to put into perspective is the following.

If you where in a 4 - 7 year live in relationship ( married or not ) in the USA or Australia, married to an American or Australian what would you have on the line if she really wanted to go you ?

It would not be the house it would be every single asset you own including your retirement fund, your business etc etc

Of all the friends that I have that have been divorced if the disgruntled ex only asked for 30,000 in the settlement they would have thought it the best most amazing deal ever !

Interestingly here in Thailand the longer the marriage lasts before it fails its still only the house and land at risk, I have never heard of a Thai successfully getting access to your other off shore investments or your retirement benefits in a settlement, its just the house and land.

But here is the other side of the coin, the best bit, and the part that most Farang seem to miss.

One of the reasons that foreign men sometimes dont like the financial models in Thailand is that they dont understand or take advantage of the way the system works here.

I "spend" far less on my wife and her family here in Thailand in a month than I would dating an American women for a week. Spending money is a real part of getting some action in a place like New York, I am not talking about "buying" love I am saying that when I take an American woman out the dinner and drinks are on me, thats the way it is and back home I would spend 5000 - 10,000 baht a week on that sort of thing without even thinking, what do I get for that ? That a matter of opinion I suppose.

However here in Thailand if you are the bread winner you are the head of family and as long as your finances are in order you can pretty much do what ever you want, yes going drinking and staying out to sun rise will probably get you in the dog house but as long as the activities you want to do are "realtionship healthy" - fishing, trekking, golf, diving etc etc you pretty much have free reign to do whatever you want, your going to be the bread winner thats how it is so start to take advantage of the perks of the job.

I was recently in Australia visiting my brother and we talked about going on an overnight fishing trip, he had to ask his wife ( who doesnt work ) if that was alright and find negotiate a time that she was ok with, here you just do what you want, its old school I know but your "head of the family" right

The main reasons that farang mess this whole money thing up.

1, Dont start building a house in a relationship where you know the girl for 3 or 6 months - that's just plain stupid, you would never do that back home and your asking for it in my opinion, chill rent a house for a few years and enjoy Thailand.

2, Build what you can afford to walk away from, be honest with yourself if you have modest means that cant afford a 30,000 hit if it all turns to s**t in 5 years then just don't do it.

If you cant afford to walk away after a few years then buy a condo or rent and enjoy Thailand.

Building a house in Thailand is an investment in lifestyle it is NOT a finacial investment, that money is as good as gone the day you spend it, the good news is that you dont have to do it, its your choice your the head of the family and you make the investment decisions here not your wife.

There is a reason that farang sometimes feel hard done by in the financial discussions involving thai family and it is almost always the farang's fault.

Being a good manager of money and not wasting your money is something that Thai's especially Thai women respect a lot, be seen as being bad at financial management and you will always battle with family as an easy "mark".

Present a proactive, generous but "on your terms" face and you will be respected as a good manager of money.

The key that most farang totally miss is being procative, dont wait until the family ask for money that is not the Thai way and that is why Thais will sometimes say we are stingy, because we have to be asked.

If a Thai man is successful he wants to take care of "family" he is proud to help but he offers it on his terms and he is head of the family.

When I first decided to marry my wife I set up two "take care of extended family" bank accounts - one for general living expenses and one for family education ( school, books etc ) and gave control of it to the mother in law, every month I put a small amount of money ( that I decided on ) into the accounts I did this without being asked because I want to "take care" - At the time it was make very clear that I did this not because I am rich but because I love my family and want them to be safe and happy with me.

As a result I have never been asked of money because everyone knows that every month I "provide" to help the family without being asked and to be honest I think they understand without it being spoken that the continued generosity is my choice - a lump sum is spent and forgotten.

I let them sort out the on what and guess what the best news is the mother in law become the stingy one when she say no : ) and I am seen as a good manager of money not "rich"

This is a society where men are the providers and in return we enjoy certain privileges and freedoms lost in the West, I say take control and fully enjoy the privileges and manage your affairs in such a way that you can smile and walk away if it all turns bad.

Again sorry for the long post :D
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby dozer » Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:20 am

oh, i intend to go down the usufruct route after the land is paid for and the deeds have arrived, what im looking for is some contract between me and my girlfriend to say i have given her the money to buy the land, so i can make a claim to it, or to the money..

Normally what ever vehicle you are going to use as a method of protection for the land is done at the same point in time when you register the land. The normal ones are usufruct or 30 year lease. With either of these you name goes on the deed at the time of the visit to the land office so there is 'waiting for the deeds to arrive'. You just go together with your girlfriend when the land is transferred.
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby fredlk » Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:25 am

developer3d wrote:In my opinion the subject of lost "investment" in Thai relationships .....

Well said! I agree with everything you say, especially the last part on "taking care".
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby BKKBILL » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:31 pm

developer3d I like your thinking. And your right give the money to MIL mine tells the wife I saved her life and that is a lot more praise than her own son gets. Yes proactive is the key. As I said before if this bothers you just don’t do it. Oh and it's NOT your land never was never will be.
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby Nawty » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:46 pm

Problem with that post is you should not be comparing apples to oranges...dont compare here to the west where you are from.

Compare apples to apples.
conwood is not real wood.....break it down 'con' to deceive...'wood'
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Re: protection against girlfriend stealing my land

Postby developer3d » Tue Feb 16, 2010 7:07 pm

In my opinion women are fundamentally the same all over the world.

The single thing that drives them to all action, the glorious, the good, the bad and the downright ugly is a result of 100,000's of years of conditioned experience, it explains every action they take at a subconscious level.

The only real difference between women from SE Asia and the West is that in the West both men and women operate under the illusion that most of what we do is conscious thought and free will.

Western women ( and men ) go about their lives telling you what they think they want and why they think they act / respond to certain events / actions in a certain way - totally delusional to the fact that almost everything we do as human beings is a conditioned response formed over 1000's of generations with a small % of free will and culture thrown in to mix it up a bit.

The reason I like SE Asia women over Western women is the layer of delusion is thinner ( not non existent just thinner )

Every action a woman takes - regardless of race or culture - be it personal, business or pleasure is driven primarily by one thing and in that way there are only apples :idea:
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